Your mild cold has been upgraded to forever.

From article, Notes: Dempster in Cubs' future plans (link)

Here it comes.

CHICAGO -- Ryan Dempster is the Cubs closer for the rest of this season and most likely next year, manager Dusty Baker said Wednesday.

How can you know what your players are going to do next year when you probably won't be the manager next year? It's not like you're the president and can do some quick midnight appointments before leaving office.

Dempster has some ugly numbers in his last five games: he's given up nine runs (eight earned) on 13 hits and six walks over five innings, and is 0-3 with one blown save. Baker backed the right-hander.

"That's Demp's job," Baker said.

Dempster, apparently, is being paid to have a 16.20 ERA and lose close games. That's his job.

Baker didn't talk to Dempster after Tuesday's game, in which he threw a wild pitch to allow the winning run to score for the Pittsburgh Pirates in the ninth inning. The two had talked a couple of days ago.

Why not? That seemed like a good time to have a discussion. Or to bench him for a few days. When we traded Farnsworth to Detroit, didn't we hear the hype about Novoa being the next young closer? Or when Hawkins went to San Francisco, the same for Aardsma? Give one of them a chance.

I worked in a comic book store when I was twelve. I was paid under the table with baseball cards and comic books. My job was to put things in order, and if I made a mistake, my boss told me right away, so that I could fix it immediately, because people finding the comic or card they were looking for was contingent upon me doing my job properly. She never let me continue making a mistake for two days without talking to me. What if everyone did this?

NSA Director Lt. Gen Keith B. Alexander: Yeah, we've had a few guys down in records who can't seem to put paperwork in its right place. Some of it is just floating around, free for anyone to see. I'm even advertising it right now by talking about it, though you probably already knew something was wrong based on the terrorist attack that took place yesterday. Well, any questions?

Reporter: What have you done to prevent this from happening again?

NSA Director: Well, I have faith that the problem is something that will fix itself. A guy can't just keep making the same mistake forever, even if nobody corrects it, right?

Reporter: Somehow I doubt that's true. But have you spoken with the person who misfiled the information that led to the terrorist attack yesterday?

NSA Director: I spoke with him two days ago.

Reporter: You mean, you haven't spoken to him about the problem of potentially dangerous misfilings that allow terrorists access to extremely sensitive information since his incompetence led directly to a terrorist attack on U.S. soil?

NSA Director: Oh, no. We spoke about that two days ago. But I figure, you know, that you can only give a guy the same speech a few times, and then the rest is up to him.

"What do you say to somebody every day?" Baker said.

Reporter: Stop screwing up!

Pandrew: Stop screwing up!

Cubs Fans: Stop screwing up!

Shaquille O'Neal: Don't be rapin'!

The Brain: The same thing I say every day, Pinky.

Robert Novak: Valerie Plame.

You are a manager. You manage things. It is your job.

As far as Baker is concerned, Dempster will be the Cubs closer in 2007.

"I don't see why not," Baker said. "You've got to figure out a way to get him back in sync and to the quality that he spoiled us with."

Old woman: These dusty storms have dried up all the land in the midwest, Johnny. Our well is completely dry. We need to leave. There has to be someplace else where we could find water.

Johnny: Well, if the well doesn't want to give us water, we just need to wait around until it starts again. We need it to get back up the level at which it had spoiled us.

Old Woman: But wells can go dry, and usually when wells go try they trade them to San Diego, and San Diego accepts, even if the wells are ridiculously overweight.

Johnny: What?

Old Woman: I heard, a while back, that there might be a job opening in Los Angeles at the end of the season.

Johnny: What sort of job?

Old Woman: I don't know. Picking oranges, or dodging them.

Johnny: Do you think we'd be able to manage?

Old Woman: You would, but I don't know if Keith Hernandez would stand for me being near the game.

Johnny: You mean my job?

Old Woman: Yes. Sorry. I don't know why I said game.

Darren: Hey mom hey dad.

Old Woman: Oh god Darren it's so cold out there! Don't let the snow fall on you

J.T. Snow: -runs-

Darren: Dad I think you should give up on the dumpster.

Johnny: Dumpster?

Darren: I meant well. Did I say dumpster? We need to use something else, like an aardsma, or a novoa.

Johnny: What are you talking about?

Darren: Dad I think you're gonna lose your job.