Dangerous John coming closer to Mexico

Ryan Dempster, last 3 IP: 4.67 WHIP, 6 ER, 2 BS, 0-2. He blew a win for Z-Machine and blew a two run lead in the eleventh inning in different games. Not that this season matters anymore but GOD if they want to lose fewer than 100 games next year they have to fix this. We're looking at 102 losses this year.

1. Dumpster.
2. Juan Pierre: OBP of .328, SLG of .385, 30 BB
3. Ronny Cedeno: OBP of .265, SLG of .325, 14 BB, 19 (!) E, FPCT of .955 (second to last among qualified shortstops). VORP of -17.4.
4. Get rid of Neifi Pérez...oh holy shit thank you!
4a. Play Matt Murton and Ryan Theriot. Call up Felix Pie or stop telling me how good he is. Cut Glendon Rusch. Cut Freddy Fucking Bynum. Put Angel Pagan on the bench. He is not a major league outfielder.
5. Move to the AL so that Jacque Jones doesn't need to play the field.
6. Buy out Kerry Wood's contract.
7. Sign a fucking free agent who does not piss on his hands.

-Pandrew