Saturday, September 23, 2006

Special Thanks

To Pandrew: While I was in the hospital for a night and on bed rest for two more days, I'm glad that you kept things active. Much love, amigo.

To ESPN's Bottom Line: For the funniest thing I've seen all day -- "Colts DE Dwight Freeney (buttocks) and K Adam Vinatieri (groin) questionable for Sunday's game with Jaguars." Questionable, indeed!

To Chris Young: Here's to one of THS' favorite non-Cubs, who nearly no-hit the Pirates tonight. This was the third time this year that Young has taken a no-hitter past the five innings needed for a win, and the TENTH time that he's gone five or more without allowing more than three hits. That's in thirty starts, people. If you send CY (see what I did there) to the hill, there's a one in three shot he's giving up three hits, tops. Kerry Wood's 1998: 6 out of 26. Nolan Ryan's 1972, where he allowed the best hit/inning ratio of all time? 10 out of 39. However, Ryan blew Chris away in 2001, at age 44...with 12 <3 H performances in only 27 starts. (Using "<3" on a baseball blog: priceless.)

To Mariano Rivera: For being A-Rod's friend. I mean, the last thing we need is another whiny brat on MySpace.

To Pandrew, again: JESUS CHRIST MAN WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO FOR SIX DAYS.

To Carlos Zambrano: You're Carlos Zambrano. In the words of a signature in Lizzie McGuire's yearbook, "You rock! Don't ever change!"

To rain: Thank you for saving us from four extra innings of Cub "baseball" tonight. Rich Hill, please learn to keep the ball down. You will be basically the best pitcher in the history of the world if you learn to keep the fucking ball down. I have an idea for a Rich Hill-related promotion for 2006, but I have to check with THS Legal first. (If he learns to keep the ball down, it's not.)

10 Comments:

At 9/23/2006 11:38 AM, Blogger Pandrew said...

1) I looked for, and found, a JOB.

2) That Young kid's got a lot of <3.

3) Ken's mom got married.

 
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