Saturday, September 02, 2006

Hope for the Future

Let's face it - the Cubs are so far out of it ("it" being the postseason race, in case you've forgotten) that even Buster Olney didn't link to a Cubs article in his last blog. If that's not a sign to concentrate on the future, then what is? Luckily, we've got a hell of a rotation on the way for 2007! (2008? 2009?)

1. Carlos Zambrano - Needs no introduction.

2. Johan Santana - The AL's preeminent pitcher, Santana is widely rumored by many reliable sources (namely, a highly intoxicated Ryan Dempster) to be the PTBNL in the Phil Nevin deal. Other names bandied around included Francisco Liriano and Frank Viola.

3. J. Papelbon - Hitters are batting .168 against him. He's 4-0 with a 1.49 ERA. He's younger than all three THS staffers. There is nothing not to like about Papelbon, save for the fact that he's doing it in rookie ball.

4. Jacque Jones - As anyone who has watched a ball hit to the right side of the outfield this year can attest, Jacque has been working on a pitch that drops precipitously after 55 feet. Unfortunately, he has not quite learned the proper time to utilize (and more importantly, NOT utilize) it.

5. Carrie Muskat of - After attempting to cover up every Dusty Baker mistake during his tenure with the Cubs, the Muskrat will attempt to correct the greatest one of all - Dusty's blatant mishandling of pitchers. (Fun fact: If all the Cub pitchers placed on the DL this year were laid end to end, they would measure 68 feet and five inches - ironically, longer than the distance each one of them was not able to effectively throw.)


At 9/02/2006 6:02 PM, Blogger Pandrew said...

Next list:

Top five candidates to replace injured Cubs' starters Mark Prior and Kerry Wood after they were injured while being placed gently into the starting rotation.

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